My wife Elaine fractured a vertebra in her back Saturday and I had to stay home from work because I had to help her during the night and today. We had to go next door to the market, I had the shopping cart. We looked like older people in Eastern U.S. city neighborhoods walking to the local market.
In Safeway, they have the motorized carts. Following behind her I felt like a cop. If I had the chance, I would have put a siren and flashing lights on the back of the shopping cart. Like Andy Devine as the rural Police Chief in It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, “And I have them on reckless driving charges already.”
People in the store were amused. Then she kept trying to park the cart and hitting a case of Gatorade. No it’s not the New York or Boston docks in 1940. You can’t wreck the crate, call it damaged goods and take it. All those local athletes deprived of their Gatorade. It’s a crying shame.
Elaine said I am having way too much fun with this. She’s walking with two canes until she gets a walker. Trust me, I’ll pay, and pay and pay.
I had a dream that I got in trouble with the law and the judge sentenced me to to Community Service working in a nursing home saying I am so good at it, because of Elaine, I’ve won the prize and this is my new career.