Watch Out for the Woman in the Motorized Supermarket Cart!


Cover of "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World...

Cover of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

My wife Elaine fractured a vertebra in her back Saturday and I had to stay home from work because I had to help her during the night and today. We had to go next door to the market, I had the shopping cart.  We looked like older people in Eastern U.S. city neighborhoods walking to the local market.

In Safeway, they have the motorized carts.  Following behind her I felt like a cop.  If I had the chance, I would have put a siren and flashing lights on the back of the shopping cart.  Like Andy Devine as the rural Police Chief in It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, “And I have them on reckless driving charges already.”

People in the store were amused.  Then she kept trying to park the cart and hitting a case of Gatorade.  No it’s not the New York or Boston docks in 1940.  You can’t wreck the crate, call it damaged goods and take it.  All those local athletes deprived of their Gatorade.  It’s a crying shame.

Elaine said I am having way too much fun with this.  She’s walking with two canes until she gets a walker.  Trust me, I’ll pay, and pay and pay.

I had a dream that I got in trouble with the law and the judge sentenced me to to Community Service working in a nursing home saying I am so good at it, because of Elaine, I’ve won the prize and this is my new career.

 

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
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One Response to Watch Out for the Woman in the Motorized Supermarket Cart!

  1. Debbie A says:

    I sympathize. When my husband had surgery a few years ago I missed six weeks of work.

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