The Trial of the Big Bad Wolf.


English: Lookout Mountain, Incline, Chattanoog...

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A long time ago, an advanced Toastmasters club in New Jersey called ACES put on a special show, where they put the Big Bad Wolf on trial for blowing down the house of the Three Little Pigs.

I changed the setting to Tennessee.  As I have friends in Chattanooga, I shall dedicate this story to them.

The Three Little Pigs live in Chattanooga, the wolf up yonder on Lookout Mountain.

Well, y’all know the story.  The wolf comes down from Lookout Mountain and blows their houses down.  The wolf is quickly arrested and placed on trial for attempted murder, willful destruction of property and all sorts of other charges.

The pigs are bandaged and in slings as the houses fell on them.  The Big Bad Wolf (played by Samuel L. Jackson) insisted on being his own attorney.

He questioned each pig about their growing up together.  Then he allowed himself to be in the witness box, questioned by the District Attorney of Hamilton County, Bill Cox.

” Mr. Wolf, let’s get right to it, why did you blow down the houses of the Three Little Pigs?”

Mr. District Attorney, I grew up with those pigs.  All my life, they made fun of me, of my poverty, of my hardship.  Well, sir, I just couldn’t stand it no more. ”

“So Mr. Wolf, you decided to make yourself a barbecue with those boys as the guests of honor, I mean main course?”

“Yes sir, I cannot tell a lie.”

“Funny, you don’t look like George Washington.”

The Big Bad Wolf just glared.

If you enjoy Gilbert and Sullivan, and have seen Trial by Jury, here you go.  The jury cries out (they are all women and the accent is Southern, instead of English), “Monster Monster, dread our fury, that is the judge and we’re the jury!”

The trial ended and the jury withdrew.  They weren’t gone long, guilty of all counts.

The judge sternly asked the Big Bad Wolf, “Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?”

“Nothing I say will change your mind.”

I will allow my readers to pass sentence or throw in whether the wolf gets an appeal.

 

 

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
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