I changed the setting to Tennessee. As I have friends in Chattanooga, I shall dedicate this story to them.
The Three Little Pigs live in Chattanooga, the wolf up yonder on Lookout Mountain.
Well, y’all know the story. The wolf comes down from Lookout Mountain and blows their houses down. The wolf is quickly arrested and placed on trial for attempted murder, willful destruction of property and all sorts of other charges.
The pigs are bandaged and in slings as the houses fell on them. The Big Bad Wolf (played by Samuel L. Jackson) insisted on being his own attorney.
He questioned each pig about their growing up together. Then he allowed himself to be in the witness box, questioned by the District Attorney of Hamilton County, Bill Cox.
” Mr. Wolf, let’s get right to it, why did you blow down the houses of the Three Little Pigs?”
“Mr. District Attorney, I grew up with those pigs. All my life, they made fun of me, of my poverty, of my hardship. Well, sir, I just couldn’t stand it no more. ”
“So Mr. Wolf, you decided to make yourself a barbecue with those boys as the guests of honor, I mean main course?”
“Yes sir, I cannot tell a lie.”
“Funny, you don’t look like George Washington.”
The Big Bad Wolf just glared.
If you enjoy Gilbert and Sullivan, and have seen Trial by Jury, here you go. The jury cries out (they are all women and the accent is Southern, instead of English), “Monster Monster, dread our fury, that is the judge and we’re the jury!”
The trial ended and the jury withdrew. They weren’t gone long, guilty of all counts.
The judge sternly asked the Big Bad Wolf, “Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?”
“Nothing I say will change your mind.”
I will allow my readers to pass sentence or throw in whether the wolf gets an appeal.