Several weeks ago, a Pilot needed a Pilot, when he had a meltdown and the Jet Blue plane had to land in Amarillo, instead of Vegas.
I went to San Diego recently and this prompt will help me come up with something silly for it. I am going to invent a silly trip with a passenger falling through the cracks. Think Franz Kafka meets a modern American airport.
Herr Melkentoast was flying from New York‘s JFK back home to Vienna. He arrived at the airport with his beat up travel bag and shopping bags. A gruff TSA agent demanded his passport in a surly New York accent. He was a large intimidating African-American.
“Was? Herr Melkentoast cupped his hand to his ear trying to understand the man.
The TSA agent roughly grabbed the passport out of Herr Melkentoast’s hand and made a note on his ticket.
Herr Melkentoast approached the conveyor for the hand luggage. “Sir, will you please remove your shoes. ”
“Was? Vy should I remove my shoes? Are you trying to steal my shoes?”
“No sir,” the TSA person said with strained patience. “We need to examine the inside of your shoes, we check everyone this way.”
“My shoes are made by the finest shoemaker in Wien.”
“Shoes are shoes, you’re holding up the line.”
“The New Yorkers on line going to foreign destinations threw in their two cents, yelling “Move it along, we got flights to catch!”
“These New Yorkers, Mein Gott, so rude. I vant to leave.”
“Well, you take your shoes off, you can leave.”
Herr Melktoast removed his shoes and placed them on the conveyor along with his bags. Comments about smelly feet filled the line. Mr. Melktoast was waved on, to the X ray machine.
“Do you have anything in your pockets, sir?”
“Are you planning to rob me?”
“Sir, just empty your pockets.”
He removed a well worn almost moldy wallet and coins of different denominations along with paper clips and other metal objects. It took him ten minutes to remove everything from his pockets.
The line was getting even longer. Herr Melktoast walked through the X-ray and it went off.
“Do you have anything else in your pockets, sir?”
“No, but I have metal in my body. Are you going to open me up like Adam giving Eve a rib?”
Mr. Melktoast, please come with us.