A View of Bullying.


My good friend Dawn founded a Meetup Group on bullying, after she had to go to school authorities, because her daughter was being bothered on a school bus.

How often do we think about bullying in society?  It isn’t always kids being bullied.  Look at the senior citizen bus monitor in Upstate New York.

I am not an anthropologist, psychologist, or sociologist, but I can observe and figure certain things out on a general common sense level.

Yes, I was bullied, but also turned it around in my younger days and bullied others as well.

There are times I should have stood up for someone being bullied but didn’t.  I always saw it as a character flaw, but it isn’t as strange as it seems.  Why wont people do what would seem to be the “right thing?”

What if the bully has the backing of the majority?  It takes major courage and the will to be ostracized to take that risk.  I was just reading a book that told the story of Rosa Parks not giving up her seat on a Montgomery, Alabama city bus.  Why do you think her courage is so admired?  If you were a white person in 1955 Montgomery, would you have stuck up for Rosa Parks, or the bus driver and the police who arrested her.  If you were a white teenager and your friends egged you on to throw something at Dr. King’s house, would you have said no?

The problem is, no one likes a bully, but no one likes a victim either.  I don’t know what bullying is like in cultures outside the United States.  For     such an individualistic culture, we have so much trying to fit in and go along with a peer group.  The peer group also differs from place to place and situation to situation.

I can only imagine a certain degree of bullying being useful for our primitive ancestors.  You would want to be able to scare the enemy tribe off or keep someone in your own group from poaching on your things.

Meyer Lansky‘s response to being shaken down for protection money on New York‘s Lower East Side as a young man was to take the beating and dole it out.

It’s hard to teach someone who feels fear not to show it.  Picking up self confidence is hard but it sure helps.  You don’t even have to be violent.  Humor works.  Self deprecating humor can work.  If the bully calls you a jerk and you respond with “Yes I am,” and turn it into a joke, what’s s/he going to do next?  You’ve taken the wind out of their sails.

It’s much easier when you’re older.  You can develop an “I don’t give a hoot,” attitude.  Hopefully, age and wisdom can work together.

 

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
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2 Responses to A View of Bullying.

  1. maharajh says:

    I finally had a chance to read this 🙂 ,,,, my admiration for you grows every day 🙂
    I have to say how proud Iam of my daughter …. when all was said and done and the situation was handled I asked her point blank..” Why didn”t you slap the shit out of that boy?” … her answer ” I do not believe in hitting, I like to use my words…JUST LIKE YOU!” My 12yr old daughter melted my Heart in that moment …..

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