I posted this as a share on my Facebook page.
Ms. Ophelia Jackson, an English teacher at Oglethorpe High School in Suburban Atlanta was driving on Buford Highway, when she saw the advertisement above.
She was already in an awful mood. “The students don’t appreciate the classics. There will be many poor grades on their exams, if they don’t read their assignment on Macbeth carefully.”
“Oh the grammar is awful! I must do something about this outrageous slander of the English language.” Her right foot went from accelerator to brake of her large luxury Lincoln Continental, like an angry kick. The size of her car and her determination to save the English language from the errant billboard offending her eyes, prevented her hearing and feeling the collisions behind her. She ignored the mud on her shoes, as she ran to the billboard and started making the corrections.
Two police officers were part of the chain collision. They got out of their police cruiser slowly and walked toward the errant vehicle, already making the local traffic jams worse.
Officer Darlene Williams saw Ms. Jackson writing on the billboard and changing the words. Ms. Jackson was the hardest teacher Officer Williams had. Now Officer Williams was the one with the authority over Ms. Jackson, but had to fight being fifteen years old again.
“Lord have mercy, how many more of these vile billboards will I have to change,” an exasperated Ms. Jackson said wearily.
“Ms. Jackson, we need to talk.”
Ms. Jackson for the first time noticed the incredulous drivers and the wrecked cars in a row, including hers. Then she noticed Officer Williams.
“Well well, Darlene Williams. I hope you are a better police officer than you were an student of the beautiful English language.”
Officer Williams was trying to keep herself together. “Ms. Jackson, ah reckon, you aren’t gonna think highly of me as a police officer when I do what I have to do.” She said this with tact and formality.
“Darlene, you still don’t speak well, I hope you write your reports well.”
“You will have tahm to read mah report. Ah really am sorry, Ms. Jackson, but bad grammar is not an excuse for vandalism and causing a dangerous situation on our highways. What if one of your present students from Oglethorpe is injured in one of those cars?” Officer Williams waved her hand toward the horizon at the massive pileup, which was now being filmed from the air for the Evening News. “Ms. Jackson, ah do apologize. Please place your hands behind your back.”
Please feel free to add from here.
- Hug an English Teacher (dougpete.wordpress.com)