The Modern Wizard of Oz.


dorothy dog

dorothy dog (Photo credit: istolethetv)

The Modern Wizard of Oz, or why Dorothy can’t be from New York.  Could you imagine.  Dorothy as tough Brooklyn girl?

Hurricane Sandy lifts her Dyker Heights house from its foundations and it lands in Munchkinland.  The house lands on the Wicked Witch of the East, Mrs. Napoli, who threatened to drown her dog Derek Jeter in the Narrows, under the Verrazano  Bridge.  The Munchkins thank her and Glenda the Good Witch greets her.”  Thank you for killing her.”

“Yeah Mrs. Napoli?  The world is a better place without her, she should rot in hell.  Coward, wanted to kill a little dog.”

Glenda gives her the ruby slippers but warns her about the Wicked Witch of the West and says “She is meaner and was the sister of the Wicked Witch of the East.”

“A sister?  You’re jokin’.  Meaner?  Jesus Christ this I gotta see.”

Suddenly, the skies darkened and an angry witch dressed in black landed in front of them.  “Who killed my sister, was it you?  What are you doing with my sisters Louboutin shoes?”

Dorothy narrowed her eyes and glared at the Wicked Witch of the West.  “Yeah, I killed your sister and she deserved it.  The Louboutin’s are now mine, bitch.  Who do you think you are, flying here on your broomstick, scaring the nice people who live here?”

Derek Jeter began nipping at the witch’s leg.  She kicked the dog away, who went whimpering.  “Derek sweetie, she didn’t hurt you, did she?”  She scooped Derek Jeter up in her arms and held him.  “You’re a real witch, harming a little dog.  He has good instincts in biting you.”

The Wicked Witch of the West reached to grab the shoes, which immediately shocked her.  “Ouch! I will be watching you, Dorothy!”

“Yeah I will be watching you too, witch!”

Glenda looked @ Dorothy. ” You need to get to Oz.  The Wizard might be able to help you get back to the Brooklyn star.”

Dorothy thanked everyone and headed along the Yellow Brick Road, with Derek Jeter following.  She came upon a Scarecrow, who suddenly came to life.

Dorothy shook her head.  “I’ve heard of the straw that broke the camel’s back, but a straw Pole?  Oh come on, I will take you to Oz.

      Then the Tin Man greeted them.  Dorothy looked at the ax.  “Where’s the fire?  Oops, my cigarette!”   The Scarecrow was almost all lit up.  “At least the ax will come in handy in these woods.”

The Cowardly Lion tried to scare them, but Dorothy and Derek Jeter scared him into silence.  So this was the crew headed to Oz.

They go to the Wizard, who Dorothy does not take seriously.  She melts the witch, clicks the shoes and they end up back in Dyker Heights.

Dorothy surveys the damage.  “Well don’t just stand there, you morons, we have to clean this up.  We have work to do!”

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
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2 Responses to The Modern Wizard of Oz.

  1. I am a REALLY good witch … following the REAL yellow brick road to a REALLY great home!!! Love your work my dear Michael Charton!!!

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