The Bible on History Channel Part 3, Babylon to Jesus.

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Monty Python’s Life of Brian (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Of course, this is done with my silly and offbeat take. Babylon to Jesus is a long haul in the Bible.  After Nebuchadnezzar went mad and lost Babylon to the Persians, the Persian Emperor Cyrus on false information threw Daniel in the Lions Den.  Daniel escaped by telling them they were going to be sacrificed Thanksgiving Day on the National Football League altar when they had to play their Wisconsin neighbors, the Green Bay Packers.  All of this would be null and void, if the lions left Daniel alone.  They did, anything but the Packers and Cyrus threw the bad guy in there.  They thought he was delicious with a little garnish. The show then covered the next 500 years, just to say how the Jews were constantly have to fight.  Then came the Romans.  Here is where I have to resist my reference to Python’s Life of Brian.  The narrator of the series, Actor Keith David said the invading Romans were the worst.  All I could think of was the old man in Life of Brian, who was sentenced to be stoned for saying Jehovah.  The John Cleese character reads the sentence and when the old man (who reminds me of the old man in Monty Python’s Flying Circus saying “it’s) says Jehovah again, John Cleese says, “You’re only making it worse on yourself.” Joseph and Mary are at services, when the soldiers burst in the door to steal, I mean collect taxes.   I can only imagine the priest looking at them as though they were mad (well they were, but that is for later).  “I don’t wander into your temples and do this.”  The Romans didn’t care, they made their point.  Or in Life of Brian; “Well done for leading the Fifth Legion, right to the front door.” Joseph and Mary have to proceed to Bethlehem for Herod’s Census.  The real reason was they were thrown out of their village; Mary for getting pregnant and telling everyone it was God the Father, Joseph for sticking with her. She has the baby in the manger, with the goats in attendance.  Labor is so tough, Mary transforms from a sweet young thing into…Mother of God, Roma Downey!  When you’re the producer, you get to insert yourself in the script like that. King Herod is pictured as an Ancient Jabba the Hutt.  Mary and Joseph are fleeing Bethlehem, because of the Slaughter of the Innocents.  It’s a rough place.  Remind you of some places?  (Tribal Pakistan and parts of Norteno Mexico come to mind).  Mary is horrified when she spots men being crucified and shields the baby’s eyes.  Joseph must have been thinking how do you avoid ending up like those poor devils?

The guy on the cross looks at the Roman soldier.  I’ll do you, mate.  Just wait until I get out of here, my lad.


About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
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2 Responses to The Bible on History Channel Part 3, Babylon to Jesus.

  1. Pingback: I’m Here, Where Are You? | I am an Author, I Must Auth

  2. Pingback: The Crucifixion | I am an Author, I Must Auth

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