I Want to Mail Myself.


A hoodie with the University of California, Lo...

A hoodie with the University of California, Los Angeles trademark. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My friend Lindy Comstock is a linguist at UCLA.  She was packing to head to a conference this morning.  I wished her a safe trip and told her I was considering mailing myself somewhere.  She thought this was funny and silly and wanted to know how it turned out.

Therefore, I had one of my silly ideas and silly look at life, so Lindy, this is for you.

I brought my sorry self to the post office and worked my way to the counter.

“How may I help you?”

“I want to mail myself.”

“Where’s the package?”

“I’m the package.”

The clerk looked rather cross, I don’t know why.

“Sir you can’t mail yourself.”

“Why not?”

“People can’t mail themselves.”

“The post office keeps claiming it’s losing money.  If I airmail myself first class, you guys will get all sorts of money.  I want to be airmailed to France.”

As you can see, it is all a fantasy and I never left Tucson.  It would have been funny, if they’d done it.

“Oh that cargo hold is cold and the cats and dogs whining for all those hours.  Big babies.  What will happen when they open the hold?  Stay tuned?

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
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