The first was in the Amy Chua, Jed Rubenfeld book, The Triple Package on page 107. This is from historian Lawrence J. Epstein.
A Jewish woman is elected President of the United States. She wants her mother to come to the inauguration. Her mother complains about what will she wear, because it will be cold. She thinks her daughter is mad for wanting the job, with all its issues.
At the inauguration, as her daughter is taking the oath, Mom turns to the Senator next to her and says, “See that girl up there? Her brother’s a doctor.”
My Dad, Marvin Charton, got something like that when he got his PhD in Chemistry. His grandmother looked at him and said, “But Marvin, you’re not a real doctor.”
The moral of this story? You will NOT win against a Jewish Mother. Thus endeth the lesson.