Stupid Lawyer Jokes.


Most lawyers would not be the victims of stupid lawyer courtroom stunts but here are some.

Lawyer:  How many autopsies do you do on dead people?

Doctor:  We only do them on dead people.  Live ones tend to object.

Lawyer:  Why would they object?

Doctor:  Because it would hurt and it isn’t like the skit in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.   You can’t live without a liver.

Moral of this story, Doctor.  Only answer yes/no.  Otherwise, you are opening the door to the stupid questions.  Where was the judge in all this.  Oh, under the table laughing.

Here is another one:

Lawyer:  How did you know Mr. Johnson was dead?

Doctor:  Well his brain is in a jar filled with formaldehyde on my desk.

Lawyer:  Why is his brain on your desk.

Doctor:  (Can’t believe what he is hearing and it is time to break out the Pythonesque sarcasm).  He came into my office and said “My brain hurts!”

Lawyer:  You could have given that poor man an aspirin.  I want the good doctor arrested for murder Your Honor!  Your Honor?

The judge is falling all over his desk laughing himself into a possible heart attack.

Moral of story: Make sure growing lawyers got those questions out of their system in law school.  You can see the silliness and possible tragedies that can come out of this.

 

 

 

 

 

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
This entry was posted in A Sarcastic Look at Life, A Silly Look at The World, H.L. Mencken, How Monty Python Ruined My Life. Bookmark the permalink.

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