Why I Hate Metrocards.

The New York transit system uses a flexible card called a Metrocard.  Now we have the Sun Go Card in Tucson, and L.A. has the tap card.  The latter two work like charms.  You tap and go.

But no, New York City, one of the best known and most powerful cities in the world, has a thin flexible  card.  On buses, you stick it in a slot, in the subway you have to slide it through the turnstile.

On the bus, you really have to pay attention to the arrows on the Metrocard.  Otherwise, you slide the card into the slot, and bells ring, and not because you won.  The driver and the other passengers give you dirty looks.  You could be absolutely brilliant and up for a Nobel Prize.  Congratulations, you have just been shown as dumber than a Fifth Grader, or someone who cannot learn in the lowest level job in New York.  You are now throwing the bus driver off his schedule and given him the excuse of morons not knowing how to operate a Metrocard properly.  Well done, fool, the B25 bus on Fulton Street in Brooklyn has now gone off its schedule for the day.  Fortunately for you, oh Nobel Prize Winner, enough people do it, so you wont end up on page six of the New York Post, at least not yet.  The jury’s still out and the day is still young.

You can mess it up the Metrocard in the subway turnstile.  If you don’t get the correct dainty ladylike swipe, the turnstile talks to you if you can read and says in Electric Blue letters, Please Swipe Again.  Hey, it is patient and polite, unlike the humans.  No, you idiot, swipe not wipe, it is dirty, but not your bathroom.

Now, you are not just holding up the people behind you trying to get to their trains, but people trying to escape the subway.  I am writing this in August, and those escaping may just shove past you, even if you get it right and you lost $2.50.  See, if it takes umpteen tries to get the money deducted and the chance to proceed, and you blow it, you can with your stupidity or deliberateness delay possibly hundreds of people and making many more people angry, who may have been waiting for those people.

Yes, I am being cranky, like H.L. Mencken and the Roman poet Juvenal.  I am being silly.  I still hate the Metrocards!  You can decide for yourselves, if I am that cretin holding up people trying to travel in New York.  😛





About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
This entry was posted in A Sarcastic Look at Life, A Silly Look at The World, H.L. Mencken, How Monty Python Ruined My Life, Juvenal, Los Angeles, Tucson, Tucson Sun Tran and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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