For those who remember the Dukes of Hazzard, I thought of what Boss Hogg would do, if faced with what’s happening in Ferguson, Missouri.
“I have to do somethin’,” he muttered. “This town’s goin’ to hell in a handbasket.”
Enos, of course, had to throw in his two cents. “Boss, we bring in tourists.”
“Enos, you dipstick, we have riotin’ goin’ on. We don’t need the Duke Boys no more, we got enough problems. The damn foreign press is camped out.”
“My point exactly boss. International visitors are comin’ anyway. Might as well provide them with something and get some money from them. We surely don’t want them spendin’ their money in Florissant, or St. Louis City.”
Boss Hogg’s eyes widened like saucers. “Enos, for once in your life, you have had a good idea. How we gonna do this?”
Boss Hogg gets a tip for the best public relations man in the world. He is in Germany, and it is like something out of the old Kohler commercial, where the couple wants him to design a house around the faucet.
“Horst, have you gone mad?” Ferguson, Missouri? Now famous as the most racist city in the USA?”
“Ah, Dieter. I am doing it for free. Just wait and see what I come up with. I will fly to St. Louis and talk with them.”
Dieter shook his head, but knew better, than to interrupt his partner, when the gears in his mind were turning.
Dieter flew to St. Louis, a place that hadn’t seen Germans since the Busch family founded Budweiser. He had to bribe a taxi driver to drive him to Ferguson.
He met with city leaders, and said he would do it for free, telling them, they had been wronged.
Dieter went to work, then they had the unveiling. Welcome to Old Dixie. A small Southern town circa, 1930, right down to the segregated facilities.
The International Media cut the ribbon. Enos (because he doesn’t know any better) was happier than a kid in a candy store. “This will be fun.”
Boss Hogg had never turned this red, even with the Duke Boys, who were in the audience splitting their sides with laughter.
“Boss, what’s wrong?” Enos cried. “It is the South as my Daddy remembered it.”
Boss Hogg chased Enos around the municipal building WITH a dip stick. “Enos! We have been made to look like fools! This is worse than the Duke Boys!”
The moral to this story: If someone who is the best in the world offers something for free, think long and hard. A modern version of “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.”
Author Michael Charton 