Build That Wall!


Donald Trump was at a Boston Red Sox game, with supporters of his campaign and business associates.  He was mumbling about the primitive facilities and said a little too loudly   That brought angry looks from Red Sox fans, who protect their beloved 1912 ballpark.

 

Trump was watching the field, as the Sox played the Yankees.  Then he looked over at the left field wall, the Green Monster, thirty seven feet high.  

“That’s it!”  Trump exclaimed all excited.  “A wall with Mexico!”  

A murmur spread through the Fenway crowd like fans doing the wave, only darker.  It was like schoolchildren playing telephone.  By the time it got around the ballpark, the rumor was that Trump wanted to buy the Green Monster and ship it away.  Not a way to win friends and influence people among New Englanders.  

Of course, the Boston Globe reported it.  “Nasty press,” Mr. Trump cried.  

Then Mr. Trump’s campaign picked up.  Someone gave him a basic intro about the Great Wall of China.  The idea went further in Mr. Trump’s head.  “The wall isn’t finished.”

An aide looked at him baffled.  “Not finished?”  

Mr. Trump grumbled, “It ends in the middle of the desert and doesn’t surround the country completely.”

“Sir, parts of the wall are over two thousand years old.  It was only meants to keep barbarians from invading from the deserts.  The rest of China is protected by sea, mountains and jungle.”

    “After Mexico, I want to surround China.  They cannot export their goods to us.  I also bought some construction companies, it’ll be huge!  We’ll start with Mexico.”

When Donald Trump becomes President, he speaks with the Mexican President.  I suspect the call went something like this:

President Trump:  You’re gonna pay for the wall.

President Pena:  To quote my predecessor, Mr. Fox, we’re not paying for your fuckin wall!

President Trump:  Oh yes you are!

(Sounds like little kids on a playground, doesn’t it)?

President Pena:  How are you gonna make us do it?

President Trump:  Your illegals in our country will have their remittances taken before I throw them out.

President Pena:   You do that.  Meanwhile, I will make sure your winter vegetables are expensive.  Six million Americans have jobs depending on NAFTA.  You keep saying, we steal your jobs.  You are wrong.  Maybe I will pay for the wall…In Pesos!  You helped to devalue the Peso.  See how much wall you can build!  Vaya con dios Amigo!

 

President Trump:  The SOB hung up on me.

The President realizes he can’t get Mexico to pay for the wall, and Congress won’t provide money.  The President went straight to the American people via a GoFundMe site.  When that didn’t work, he threw up his hands, and said “I tried.”

 

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
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