Donald Trump was at a Boston Red Sox game, with supporters of his campaign and business associates. He was mumbling about the primitive facilities and said a little too loudly That brought angry looks from Red Sox fans, who protect their beloved 1912 ballpark.
Trump was watching the field, as the Sox played the Yankees. Then he looked over at the left field wall, the Green Monster, thirty seven feet high.
“That’s it!” Trump exclaimed all excited. “A wall with Mexico!”
A murmur spread through the Fenway crowd like fans doing the wave, only darker. It was like schoolchildren playing telephone. By the time it got around the ballpark, the rumor was that Trump wanted to buy the Green Monster and ship it away. Not a way to win friends and influence people among New Englanders.
Of course, the Boston Globe reported it. “Nasty press,” Mr. Trump cried.
Then Mr. Trump’s campaign picked up. Someone gave him a basic intro about the Great Wall of China. The idea went further in Mr. Trump’s head. “The wall isn’t finished.”
An aide looked at him baffled. “Not finished?”
Mr. Trump grumbled, “It ends in the middle of the desert and doesn’t surround the country completely.”
“Sir, parts of the wall are over two thousand years old. It was only meants to keep barbarians from invading from the deserts. The rest of China is protected by sea, mountains and jungle.”
“After Mexico, I want to surround China. They cannot export their goods to us. I also bought some construction companies, it’ll be huge! We’ll start with Mexico.”
When Donald Trump becomes President, he speaks with the Mexican President. I suspect the call went something like this:
President Trump: You’re gonna pay for the wall.
President Pena: To quote my predecessor, Mr. Fox, we’re not paying for your fuckin wall!
President Trump: Oh yes you are!
(Sounds like little kids on a playground, doesn’t it)?
President Pena: How are you gonna make us do it?
President Trump: Your illegals in our country will have their remittances taken before I throw them out.
President Pena: You do that. Meanwhile, I will make sure your winter vegetables are expensive. Six million Americans have jobs depending on NAFTA. You keep saying, we steal your jobs. You are wrong. Maybe I will pay for the wall…In Pesos! You helped to devalue the Peso. See how much wall you can build! Vaya con dios Amigo!
President Trump: The SOB hung up on me.
The President realizes he can’t get Mexico to pay for the wall, and Congress won’t provide money. The President went straight to the American people via a GoFundMe site. When that didn’t work, he threw up his hands, and said “I tried.”