King Alfred and the Cakes


For the full true story click on British History.  The following is my silly take:

King Alfred had his version of his merry men, long predating Robin Hood.  Mix this with King Arthur and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  King Alfred was being chased by Vikings, and found shelter in an old, poor woman’s house.  

    She says, “If I’m to feed you, watch my cakes, while I perform other chores.  King Alfred was distracted, by Vikings, the Three Headed Knight and the Knights, Who Say Ni, (Sorry Monty Python can be a bad influence.  At this point, Graham Chapman would have cried, Dear Sir, I was expecting a documentary about King Alfred and it got silly).

    As I stated, King Alfred was distracted.  He was lost in thought, not watching the cakes.  When the woman smelled and saw the burned cakes, she was furious.  “Leave it to a man, not to obey instructions!”  

“You can’t speak to me that way, I’m your king!”

(Quoting Dennis the Peasant in Monty Python and The Holy Grail), “Oh King very nice.  Well if you are King Alfred, you aren’t good at very much, are you?  The Vikings, the three headed knight barking contradictory instructions, the Knights Who Say Ni, coming into my humble hut, you can’t even watch cakes baking.  Some king you are.

   King Alfred left and whupped the Vikings.  Sometimes it takes a strong woman.  Well that’s the way I heard it.  Now watching for the lightning bolt.

 

    

    

 

  

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About tucsonmike

I am originally from Brooklyn, New York and now live in Tucson, Arizona. I have discovered a passion for writing. I have five books out now, with a sixth on the way. Take a look @ my book list: The Search for Livingstone An Affair of the Heart The Search for Otzi Griffith Justice in Space. Moriarty The Life and Times of a Criminal Genius Available now on Smashwords - Amazon and Barnes and Noble As to not bore my public with just "Buy my book," I am also interested in baseball, the outdoors, art, architecture, technology, the human mind and DNA. I learned Ashkenazi Jews, of which I am one, have to lowest rate of Alzheimer's in the world. Therefore, I treat my brain as a muscle needing a workout. I enjoy good food, flirtation, beautiful women (I am happily married for thirty years), so just flirting ;) I was considered autistic when I was young, trying to figure out if I have a mild form of Aspergers and learning from that. That is for future posts. You can also see I love history. Enjoy my sarcastic silly look at the world, and making History more interesting than a textbook.
This entry was posted in A Sarcastic Look at Life, A Silly Look at The World, England, How Monty Python Ruined My Life, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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